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I set the 2024 goal for myself to try and make a blog post once a month. When I initially envisioned this, I was imaging me putting in research and formulating articulate think pieces about different things I'm passionate about. However, I've been finding it hard to try to get these "articles" to where I want them to be. Both from having to relearn how to navigate academia (with its paywalls and dead-ends), but also from personal events in my life coming up that is taking my energy away from such pursuits. So instead of beating myself up for this and to prevent myself from putting out insufficient work, I'll make this month's blog post a musing of recent thoughts that's been cooking up in my noggin. Because this is my blog and I can do whatever I please!

One main thought I've been trying to chew on and settle with is the idea that, with my beliefs aligning with the need for capitalism to end and ways of exploitation to cease, that so many things I am used to having will cease to exist as we know it. The video games I play, the kpop I enjoy, the anime I watch, the books I read, would such things exist in a world where there's no capitalism? Same of course with foods, tolietries, electronics and more. So much of the production of these products we take for granted is dependent on the Global South being used, abused, and sucked dry of resources and labor. Not to mention prison labor, child labor, and more. Once all of these cruel systems are gone, what will be built instead?

I get bogged down sometimes with a werid guilt/awareness that these things I enjoy cannot exist in a new world. Or at least not how I'm aware of them. How time freezes in those moments and I zoom out and think What the fuck are we all doing?

But with the extential collective crisis, I also occassionaly turn towards the idea of what kinds of art would exist instead. I think of communal kitchens and meals, the joy of art all folks get to participate in if they wish, what art can be created in a world without capitalism? Without colonialism and imperialism? What possibilities will we have with such a world? In small moments when I'm writing or doodling, I wonder what it would be like to do this as often as I want? To have freedom to come and go and be in community with others? To actually feel something beyond a vague sense of contentment from material things or experiences that depend on the overwork/abuse of others?

I want everyone to be free. All of us. I want to live my life in service to that belief and hope. I hope you do too, whoever is reading this now.

My other miscellanous musing is wanting to create an ARG Youtube series, but I still have a lot to work through to make that a possibility (one being knowing how to video edit as well as figure out how to go about doing what I want to set out to do without ever showing my face...which is vague but if I layout what I'm going for it would make sense.) But that feeds into a bigger musing (parent musing?) of wanting to create more art. To witness art and create art and experience art and manifest art. I am chasing that feeling of fulfillment and also a sense of proving my own existence in this decaying dystopia hellscape. Art is good always and I want to do more of that. Whether that be through creative writing, writing letters, bullet journalling and decorating the pages, making zines, shitty drawing, anything and everything! A year for creation and fruition. A reach towards a more meaningful life.

I'm going to wrap up there with this little post. How are you doing? Do you work? Do you go to school? Do you also resonate with wanting to make more art in this current world and beyond? I hope you have a good day regardless of your answers. Until then.